Maybe for Christmas
by VolceVoice
Summary: Should be titled "Christmas SEAL," but I blew it! This is my Christmas wish for the Sam and Kensi pairing started way back in "Alarmed." Serious, heartfelt fluff. Initially contains spoilers for "Brimstone."
1. Christmas Wish

**Disclaimer: I don't own CBS or any of the characters and I mean no disrespect to the Network, the show, or its writers.**

**This takes place shortly after "Brimstone," so there are spoilers. Sorry!**

**I seem to be writing these Sam\Kensi stories in a series, from "Alarmed" to "Collateral Damage" to "Only If You Tell Me To." You don't have to read all of them first--but I kind of hope you will . . . **

**Here's part one of my first try at a holiday story. Please tell me if you'd like to read more.**

*******

From his comfortable position on the bed, Sam watched Kensi move around the room. He thought she was even more beautiful in one of his old t-shirts, toothbrush stuck in her mouth as she rummaged in a bureau drawer, than in the fancy lingerie she wore for him more often than a man had a right to hope. He'd never tell her that, though--he still liked the lingerie.

As she disappeared into the bathroom to get rid of the toothbrush, he wondered how many men had seen her like this, natural, relaxed, open. And that led to another question . . . one he wasn't sure he had the right to ask . . .

She reappeared, looking like a teenager in the shirt that hung almost to her knees, and climbed into bed, yawning hugely and cuddling into his side. He put his arm around her and yawned in sympathy. It was late and the excellent Scotch they'd shared with Hetty and Callen tonight had been generously shared. Sam didn't mind at all that they were too tired for anything but sleeping, not if he could hold her in his arms all night. A different kind of making love, he thought.

"What a case," said Kensi. "A real emotional rollercoaster for everyone."

"Yeah," he said. "You all right?"

"Fine. Glad to be home." She tilted her head for a kiss and he obliged. She made a happy noise, kissed him again, and snuggled back down.

"Kensi? Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot," she said, through another yawn.

"Was it true, what you told Hastings King?" he asked. "About your fiancé?"

She moved to prop her chin on his bare chest and looked at him. "Yes and no," she said. "I did have a Marine fiancé and he was sent overseas, but he's still alive, as far as I know." Her tone made it clear that she didn't much care.

"And you don't want to talk about it."

She moved her shoulders. "There's not much to say, except it's never a good idea to see someone just because your Dad approves of him."

"You're saying your Dad wouldn't have approved of me?"

"No, I'm saying that isn't the only reason I'm with you." She reached over and patted his cheek. "Aside from the fact that you're sleeping with his daughter, Dad would like you just fine."

"You sure? I'm not a Marine."

"Yeah, but I've always had a thing for SEALs."

"Really?"

"Yep. Slept with one for years."

"Oh, yeah? Your Dad know about that?"

"Sure. He introduced us." She grinned. "His name was Sergeant Chubbikins."

He raised an eyebrow. "Sergeant _Chubbikins_?"

"Hey, I was five."

"That's a relief." He rolled over, set the alarm, snapped off the lamp, and rolled back. She settled onto his shoulder. "Christmas party tomorrow," he said. "Unless someone gets himself killed or kidnapped."

"I know. I'm wearing that red dress you like."

He smiled. "Is that my present?"

"No. Your present is what I won't be wearing under it."

His eyes widened. "Oh." He cleared his throat. "Then you'll have to save me a dance. In fact, save all the dances for me. Please," he added. "For the sake of my blood pressure."

"That won't look suspicious or anything."

"Okay . . . one dance with everyone. Except maybe Callen. Thank God Renko's in New Mexico." When she didn't laugh, or punch him, he looked down to see if she'd fallen asleep.

She was still awake. And frowning.

"Kensi?" He tried to guess what was bothering her. "You did good today," he tried.

"King wouldn't believe me about Olin. I lied to him before, so he wouldn't believe me."

"You delayed Olin until we got there, and you took him down without killing him or blowing us to kingdom come" He kissed the top of her head. "That's my girl."

She sighed and sat up. "Sam . . . "

He held up his hands in self-defense. "Sorry--that's my woman? Lover? Junior Field Agent?"

She shook her head and looked at him with worried eyes. "Sam . . . I don't know if I can handle all the deception anymore."

He sat up, too, leaning against the headboard. "You do what you have to, Kens. If lying to good people saves lives, then—"

"No, I'm good with that—most of the time I'm good with that," she said. "I'm not talking about lying on the job. Just . . . at work."

"About us," he said, finally understanding.

"About us." She sighed. "I'm doing it again, aren't I? I mean, I know you've met my friends, and I've met yours. But we're still lying to the _team_ . . . "

He reached for her and drew her back to lean against him. "You realize we're the worst kept secret in the OPS," he said. "Callen can keep his mouth shut--when he wants to--but you know Renko can't. And a little bird told me that Eric won $50 off Nate in the "are they or aren't they" sweepstakes."

"A little bird?" She stiffened. "_Sweepstakes_?"

"Dom. He won $25. He also asked me to tell you that he has the upmost respect for you as someone who could break every bone in his body twice even without the battering ram in your trunk." He chuckled. "In apology, he made you a copy of the video of Nate trying to explain why an expert in psychological analysis, with full dossiers on both of us, didn't have a clue."

She snorted, and he felt her relax, though not completely. "Hetty knows," she said.

"Odds are she does."

"But we're still an . . . _official_ secret," she said. "Don't ask, don't tell."

"Not quite," he said. He waited for her to say something, but she didn't. "Are you that unhappy, Kensi?"

She shook her head, her soft hair rubbing against his chest. "No. Yes--I'm not unhappy with _us_. I love you--so much. And I know you love me." She laced her fingers through his and squeezed. "But I can't come near you at work without worrying if I'm being too obvious, I can't hand you a file without making sure your fingers don't brush mine . . . I can't even bring you a coffee when I know you're tired." She sighed. "Being with you is worth it, but it's tough, sometimes, you know?"

"You love me," he said, closing his eyes and smiling

"You know I do."

"Yeah. But I like hearing it."

"I like saying it." She sighed. "I wish I could say it more often."

"Me, too." He hesitated. "Maybe for Christmas."

"Sure," she said. "Maybe for Christmas."

He leaned over and she met him halfway. "I love you, Kensi," he said, and made absolutely sure she knew that he meant every word.

*******

**Please review and tell me what you think . . . **


	2. Christmas Surprise

**Shorter, and fluffier . . . but I couldn't resist.**

*******

For once, no one did get killed or kidnapped in time to delay the party, and the only activity in OSP was festive.

A lot of the festivity centered around the enormous punchbowl that Eric was keeping full of what he claimed was Abby Sciuto's Happy-Holiday-Guaranteed-Wassail recipe. It was dark green--and fluoresced ruby red under the lights of the Christmas palm--but no one seemed to mind, at least by the second glass.

Dom was wearing a bow on his head and dancing with the young woman from IT who had stuck it there. Nate was helping his not-so-secret coroner crush distribute Secret Santa presents. And Hetty was attempting to teach Eric to waltz, with some surprising, wassail-fueled success.

Kensi was dancing with Callen--who, after his traditional show of reluctance, seemed to be having a pretty good time--and trying not to look for Sam, who had disappeared somewhere soon after she'd arrived. He hadn't even suggested they drive in together, which didn't bode well for the rest of the night.

So much for Christmas wishes.

Callen swung her out and back in an expert maneuver, sending her skirts swirling to near emergency heights, then settled into a more sedate foxtrot. "Why the long face, Kens?" he said, his sharp eyes missing nothing. "I haven't stepped on your toes or anything, have I?"

She smiled. "It's nothing," she said. "Christmas blues."

"I know what that's like," he said. "But no one wearing that _particular_ dress should be blue. You want me to talk to him?"

"Thanks, but it's not his fault," said Kensi.

"Really?" said Callen, frowning. "That doesn't sound like Sam."

"No, it sounds more like something _you'd_ say." She grinned at him.

He grinned back. "That's better. Can't have my dance partner looking sad--my reputation will suffer."

"Better your reputation than all those unsuspecting women."

"Ho, ho, ho."

Nate tapped Kensi on the shoulder. "This one's for you, Kens." He handed her a small gift with one hand, and held a piece of mistletoe over her head with the other. He kissed her cheek and whispered, "Merry Christmas." Then he did the same thing to Callen, ducking away just in time.

Callen snorted. "What's _in_ Abby's punch, anyway?"

Kensi laughed and lifted the lid. Inside was a small velvet box. She took it out and glanced at Callen.

"Don't look at me," said Callen, taking the outer wrappings. "I gave you the riot baton."

"Don't just admire it, Miss Blye," said Hetty, appearing with her usual sudden magic. Her eyes sparkled. "Open it."

Any jewelry from Hetty would be something special--maybe even those earrings Kensi hadn't wanted to return to wardrobe last month. She smiled at the operations manager, snapped the box open--and almost dropped it.

Not earrings.

Nothing like earrings.

She stared at Hetty, who hitched a thumb behind her. A few couples moved, revealing Sam standing by the staircase.

He was wearing a tuxedo.

Her mouth went dry.

Callen slid an arm around her and squeezed her upper arm. "Breathe, Kens."

She tried, she really did, but all she could do was watch Sam moving toward her, mouth serious, eyes dancing.

From miles away, she heard Hetty say, "Eric," and the sound system shut off in mid-carol. By the time Sam reached her, the last partier had been elbowed and shushed into excited silence.

Sam took the box out of her shaking hands, and removed the contents, his gaze never leaving hers. "Kenzi?"

She watched, stunned, as he sank down on one knee and held out the ring.

"In front of all these people, will you marry me?"

*******

**Reviews might help me get the ending done in time for Christmas . . . I'm just sayin' . . . **


	3. Christmas SEAL

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and alerted this story! **

**I hope this last chapter has enough romance, fluff, and humor for everyone's liking--and Hetty, too (hi, Daisybelle!). Let me know!**

**The soundtrack near the end is provided by Nickelback--it's actually not my favorite ballad in the **_**Dark Horse**_** collection, but it worked so well, I couldn't resist . . .**

*******

Kensi tried to speak, but her voice didn't work.

"The answer you're trying to articulate, dear, is 'yes,'"

"Let her answer for herself, Hetty," said Sam, not taking his eyes away from Kensi. "This has to be what _she_ wants."

"It is," she said. "Sam—it is." She leapt for him and he caught her and stood, lifting her into his arms as though he'd never let her go, supposing that she'd ever loosen her own hold. Their mouths came together to thunderous applause, cheers, and wassail spilling from raised cups.

"Hey, what about Callen?" Kensi heard someone shout.

"It's okay," Callen called back. "Sam and I have an ___open_ relationship."

The room dissolved in laughter, including Kensi and Sam. Eric turned the sound system back on and everyone jumped back into party mode with renewed energy. Soon, only the team remained around the happy couple.

"Hey, you two," said Callen. "Lose something?" He grinned and held up the ring.

Sam lowered Kensi to her feet. "Thanks, G." He took her hand, and slid the ring on her third finger. He smiled his special smile and kissed her palm. "Thank you, Kensi."

She put a hand to his cheek. "You weren't worried about my answer, were you Sam?"

He cleared his throat. "'Course not."

"He was a wreck," said Callen, rolling his eyes. "Ask Nate."

"Total wreck," said Nate, nodding sagely. "Classic case."

"Oh, please," said Dom, full of green liquid courage. "You didn't even know what was going on until we told you, Mr. Observant."

"That's _Dr._ Observant, thank you." Nate drew himself up. "And I caught up quickly. Eric's video clips helped."

"_Video clips_?" Kensi glared at Eric, who took a step back.

"I needed proof, Kensi. For the sweep . . . stakes . . . " He swallowed. "Um, I mean--"

"Callen?" she said, stalking the hapless tech. "Where's that riot baton?"

"Here!" Eric yanked a disc from the pocket of his red-and-green Hawaiian shirt and held it out like a shield. "I compiled them for you! As an engagement gift! Merry Christmas?"

She snatched it away, grabbed him by his shirtfront, and kissed his nose. "Merry Christmas, you cyberstalker." He grinned, adjusting his glasses.

"I'd like to see that montage sometime, myself," said Hetty.

Kensi faced her. "Hetty . . . what about our jobs?" She felt her heart sink, and told it to stop. No matter what happened--even if it meant leaving the OSP--she was keeping Sam. "Can I be reassigned somewhere close? Or will I have to leave?" Sam tried to say something, but Kensi interrupted. "I'm junior, and Sam needs to stay for . . ." Her eyes flicked to Callen, who looked unconcerned. " . . . for the good of the team."

"Miss Blye," said Hetty, pursing her lips. "How long have you and Mr. Hanna been . . .seeing each other?"

"A month or two after G got shot," said Sam.

"See what happens when I'm not around?" said Callen, folding his arms.

"Yeah. Let's try it again," said Nate, with a glance at the coroner, who wiggled her fingers at him from across the room. "I'll help you pack."

"I'll throw in cab fare," offered Eric as Dom giggled into his wassail.

"Nice," said Callen.

Hetty gave them one of her patented looks before turning back to Sam and Kensi. "You two have worked together on several tough cases over the past year with no negative repercussions. I don't see the need to fix something that isn't broken. However," she added, with a hint of steel, "any problems of that sort and at least one of you will be out on your keister. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," they said.

"Come here," she said, holding out beckoning arms. They bent so she could hug them both. "It's about time," she whispered in their ears. She let go, dabbed under a suspiciously bright eye, and walked away.

"See," said Sam, pulling Kensi close. "I told you we were the worst kept secret around here."

"Not anymore," she said, wiping her own eyes. "Now it's Dom's lost camera button."

"Kensi! Shhh!" Dom looked around him in alarm. "She might hear you!"

"Will Hetty be giving you away, Kens?" asked Nate.

"No, she's going to give away Sam," said Callen. "And Dom and Eric can be bridesmaids."

"Groomsmen," said Kensi, cutting off their protests. "And we'll send Callen away before you meet my friends."

"Deal," said Eric.

"Thanks, Kensi,' said Dom, giving her a hug. The two wandered off in the direction of the punch bowl.

"Oh, _fine_," said Callen, his lips twitching. "Leave me in the cold."

Kensi hugged him. "Never," she said, and he hugged her back.

"Thanks, Kens." He kissed her cheek and went to slap an amused Sam on the back. "Congratulations. I guess if you have to marry a cop . . . " he began, before something caught his attention. "Uh, oh. Either Dom's trying to bob for ornaments, or--'scuse me." He squeezed Sam's shoulder and headed towards the sounds of splashing.

The music changed, slowed, mellowed.

_Time . . . is going by . . . _

"May I have this dance?" asked Sam.

_So much faster than I . . . _

"You're my very own Christmas SEAL," said Kensi, as they moved together to the music. " You can have as many dances as you want."

_And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you . . ._

"Think Sergeant Chubbikins will be jealous?"

"Probably. But he'll get over it."

_And now, as long as I can . . ._

"I wouldn't," he said.

_I'm holding on with both hands . . . _

"I know," she said. "That's why you're the one I'm keeping."

_'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you. _

"So I get all the dances, now, huh?" asked Sam, smiling down at her.

_. . . So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know..._

"Of course," said Kensi, smiling back. "Renko's still in New Mexico--"

He swung her around and kissed her until she stopped laughing. Right there in front of everyone.

_You're never gonna be alone . . . from this moment on . . . _

It took a while.

_If you ever feel like letting go, _  
_I won't let you fall. _  
_When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on. _  
_We're gonna take the world on _  
_I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone._

But no one minded at all.

_I'm gonna be there all of the way. _  
_I won't be missing one more day . . ._

*******

**Done!**

**Letting me know if you liked this story would be a very nice holiday gift, by the way . . .**

**Best wishes for the New Year ! **

**VV**


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